I would love it if someone could cuddle me right now I mean I need some affection and someone to watch movies with and not have that awkward feeling when you can feel the other person’s leg just hovering next to yours

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snap it for luck like a boss

weresinkingcaptain:

cunt3rparts:

it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and you notice your phrases slowly slipping into their vocabulary

It’s funny to look back and remember who I got certain phrases from

It’s hilarious when your mates notice certain things you pick up on friends and keep on bringing it up

277,567 notes

mraids:

kawaiirella:

banesboner:

noelbackwardsisleon:

agentlemandoesnotconga:

a-short-history-of-nothing:

hipsterfotc:

requested by anon

No its too hot to feel anything when our neighbor is the fucking sun.

Love is for weaklings who’ve never had to walk ten kilometres to school under the burning sun during dropbear mating season.

Why would you want love when you have Koalas. Koalas are better than love. Seriously, just look at them.

are you fucking kidding me koalas are the spawn of satan i’d rather wrestle with a crocodile

there’s no love, not while possums still exist

once I thought I felt something called love, but it turns out it was just a rib fracture from a kangaroo kicking me in the chest

We don’t have time to love, we are too busy fighting off the deadly snakes and spiders daily
allmonds:

I DONT GET IT WHATS FUNNY

HAHAHAHAHA TOOK ME A WHILE THO

li0nsback:

imagine liking someone who:

  • wasn’t out of your league
  • wasn’t miles away
  • was single
  • actually liked you

woah imagine

they have a name for it

girlfriend or boyfriend

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Whatever you do DO NOT google “baby sloth” your heart will melt.

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